Holiday Depression
You hear about seasonal depression a lot. Whether it is coming from someone who is just over the cold weather and ready for the sun. Or from someone who is in pretty deep with their thoughts brought on by being home more, maybe not having some outside activities they used to have, or even the lack of vitamin D. It's all valid to feel that way and while I'm there with you come February/March I find myself feeling a little low and a lot like that in November/December. I brush it off every year as stress from the holidays. We have a lot to prepare for, traditions I don't want the kids to miss out on, and so much family to make time for. It all gets super overwhelming. It has also gotten worse with each passing year. This year is the worst. It was a punch in the face type of realization this year that I was going through holiday depression. It's not that I'm not looking forward to all the holiday things. I'm excited for my kids and all the traditions. I find joy in looking at our Christmas tree every evening and even sitting next to it now with a candlelit typing this. But it still doesn't feel like Christmas time. I've called myself a "scrooge" many times already this holiday season. I've been really hard on myself for not trying harder for the kids or the lack of Christmas content I have while doing vlogmas. I've consumed myself with other things to take a little break from it all.
Holiday depression is real. It can be brought on by a lot of things. A love one passing, being alone, work stress, family issues, or even what I'm sure most of us are feeling from the last two years. When you've been cooped up and have learned to do holidays on your own to get back out there with large groups of people.
It's okay to not be feeling the holiday whether you are alone or in a relationship or a parent. The pressure of what everyone else is doing can weigh on you but don't let it. It's okay to skip a tradition and take a little me time. I was super bummed my foggy mind forgot the date of the Christmas parade we watch every year locally. I was hard on myself until I told myself it was okay. I took the power back by letting myself feel bad but also knowing it was okay to move on and not feel guilty over something caused by the effects this depression has done on me. My kids didn't even care and we plan to take a trip to go see lights before the holiday if we're all feeling well and up for it.
It's okay to change things up if you just aren't feeling it. Don't feel guilty because of others even if it's your kiddos. I'm sure they wouldn't mind skipping a trip out to stay home and bake cookies with you. My kids have loved painting and drawing me with recently and it just so happens to be one of the things that calm me and helps me take a break from what I'm mentally going through. To add to this is it so important to say "no" to requests and get-togethers if you're not feeling it. This used to be so hard for me. I became someone I didn't even know because I let others choose for me. While it is scary and nerve-wracking this step is so important to get comfortable with doing. If you are having a rougher day and don't feel like putting yourself around other people then say no. Once you break that barrier you start to realize the control over yourself that you weren't the one controlling. You also realize that saying no to something over your own well-being is so important and if the other person has a problem with it... That's not your problem and shouldn't be anymore.
Lastly, you are not alone. Many many people are feeling it during these times. You see everything magical around you and all the joy radiate off others but have you taken a moment to look for the ones that aren't? They're there too. So be kind to those not feeling the holiday. If someone cancels, even last minute, don't take offense to it. It took a lot for that person to even cancel. The last thing they need is someone else upset with them. Be understanding of others who may seem to "have it all" and still be depressed. You don't know their story. Every reason you feel depressed over the holiday season is valid so love yourself, give yourself a break, and do things differently this year if need be!
xx - Ally
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