Sunday Scaries | A Form Of Anticipatory Anxiety
If you're having a hard time relaxing on Sunday when you see other people enjoying their "self-care" or "Sunday rest" days you are not alone. In fact, I can do the most with my time. I can soak in a bath, dance around to my favorite music, hell even get a break from the loud house and kiddos... And still, feel the tension the week hasn't even brought onto me yet. It's a sad mental play from your mind saying "checkmate" and honestly, it sometimes leaves me feeling helpless.
The final part of Sunday scaries is one of the most damaging, in my opinion, that is bedtime. You've done every single ritual to calm your soul and climb into bed feeling drained from all the mental distress you have endured all day... Then nothing happens. You lay there for two hours with no such luck. As soon as I hit the bed my relaxed body is in a sudden panic, sometimes it's hard to breathe, and I find myself back to my worst mental health days doing the little self-help ticks to help calm me again. This process sometimes repeats itself many many times until your body gives up and you drift to sleep. I normally then have one of those jump experiences that most likely will bring me back to the repeating process. This is the most damaging to me because it causes me to start my fresh week with little to no sleep, self-doubt, and the anxiety for the week is already present. It's the formula of self-destruction and a bad week all in one literally at the very start.
So to take a detour and avoid these scaries at all costs here is what I do. I start my day with a plan of what I would like to get done. I live by the "a Sunday well spent brings a week of content" and avoid the mainstream that says on Sundays we rest. I don't work myself to death but I try to stay ahead. What can I do to make the start of my week better even though it could be a shit week? Amazing thinking, right? It actually helps me plan ahead so if it does end up starting bad I have myself to fall back on already. This can be getting ahead on some Monday work, meal prepping for lunches, planning extra content, or even doing a task I have put off and I know it will help relieve some stress. If I keep my mind busy at the beginning of Sunday it leaves little space to think about what is to come tomorrow.
Now that my tasks or "keeping my mind busy" has passed I find myself having a safe period where I can relax. This is my "self-care Sunday" time to take a bath, read a book, journal, etc. This window of time is not very long as the scaries will start to creep up on me as the sun goes down so I try to take advantage of it but know when it is time to move on before panic sets in.
Lastly, I let the scaries in. Crazy, right? But hey they're going to come. I can't hide forever but what I can do is when they start I can think about how much I got accomplished earlier for the week. The fact that I got a little me time in something to be proud of. Then when that fades I let the scaries prepare my week. This could be thinking "I'm not going to get everything done this week. I'm going to fall behind." Okay, so what? There is next week. "I have to leave the house. I have to see people. I have to socialize." And I will breathe and get through it each time. It'll be over before I know it. "I'm going to overthink everything I do and everything people say." There are worst things. It's a challenging mind game of winning over your thoughts. Sure you are still going to have the panic and the scaries but over time this plus manifesting your week makes it subside quicker.
Even then some Sunday scaries you can't win with. The building of tension is too much and you're so exhausted you let it take the day from you. I find myself using old self-help tricks like picturing a stop sign in your mind when getting too overwhelmed. Thinking about my little ones or something that makes me happy when I'm sad. Watching or reading a comedy. Or sometimes I cry. I cry a lot. In the shower, to a sad book/movie, or in the car while taking an alone drive. That's okay too. Sometimes releasing the tension with a good cry eases it. It's okay to cry. Or sing at the top of your lungs (yelling works too) and let the tension out that way.
Sunday scaries are hard. It's one of the toughest things my mind and body have gone through the past year but over time you find new things that help and you also become so intuned with yourself that you know when to fight it or when to let go and let it have you. Remember you're not alone and Monday doesn't have to start until Monday.
xx - Ally
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