Imposter Syndrome | Mental Health Check In
Imposter Syndrome (also known as fraud syndrome) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments, and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud."
I've suffered from imposter syndrome most of my life. I just never knew the actual term or how I was feeling was linked to it. The repeated process of being put down or made to feel not good enough triggered a never-ending cycle of self-doubt and negative self-talk. I never thought I belonged anywhere and still have that feeling most days. Imposter syndrome can be brought on by a variety of feelings. It could be past trauma of how you were treated that makes you feel alone, different, and not worthy. Being put down or made fun of can trigger the feeling of not being good at anything. Even hard times can start up the negative self-talk that could start with "things are never going to get better" or "I'm always expecting the worst" can lead to "it's just me. I fuck things up" "I don't deserve it so that's why" "I'm not good enough" and that's how imposter syndrome sinks its teeth in.
That thought process takes me back to my teenage years and even just a couple years ago. I've worked on my mental health so much that I started to see the signs of what I was doing to myself. How my thoughts were messing up my entire day after day. I was going through my days living life while treating myself like an imposter on the inside. It took a lot of growth and determination to break the cycle. I came to terms with the fact that I needed a change and only I would be able to make it happen. I took a back step from most of the relationships I have (and lost many in that process) to work on me. I incorporated affirmations and positive thoughts every day. I really was getting somewhere when anxiety and depression tore my walls down. I was drowning in life while still trying to cater to my needs and my little ones. I couldn't handle it all so I threw my hands up for a while. Thank God, I mustered up the strength to come back even stronger. I have since made sure to incorporate more acts of kindness to myself, focus on loving myself for who I am, and finding myself through it all.
I still have flare-ups of imposter syndrome. I sometimes wonder if it'll be with me for the long haul but I know ways to block it. Self-care is a must. You must show yourself love every day. It's the saying "you can't fill their cup if yours is empty" that you should take seriously. Trying new ways of self-love can help you overcome it even more. I started incorporating meditation and it has done wonders for my mental health and the thoughts that now start my days. It also really helps to confide in those around you. Let them know how low you feel and what you need. If you lose some in the process I can promise you it was for a reason and that sadness will turn into self-growth. A lot of the negative people are the ones that don't stick through it because it's your problem and no longer theirs.
I would love the say I'm happy all the time, no longer lonely, and always positive but I'm far from that. It's a continued process each day but it has gotten easier and easier. I look forward to my life now. Just being me, creating, and not caring what others think. And that honestly, is the entire goal.
xx - Ally
✘
✘
✘
✘
Comments
Post a Comment